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The REAL 10 commandments:

I. Thou shalt not quote Monty Python skits.
II. Thou shalt not quote Rocky Horror Picture Show.
III. Thou shalt not attend Renaissance Faires.
IV. Thou shalt not associate with demon-spawn(cats).
V. Thou shalt not place Peeps in thy vagina.
VI. Thou shalt not listen to Country Western music.
VII. Thou shalt not collect Beanie Babies or Furbies.
VIII. Thou shalt not use AOL.
IX. Thou shalt not wear Spandex if you are a fatty.
X. Thou shalt not have bad B.O. in public.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
shanin
Aug. 17th, 2001 12:47 pm (UTC)
"IX. Thou shalt not wear Spandex if you are a fatty"

I was just thinking about this the other day when I saw this big woman wearing a pair of spandex shorts with and incredibly tight tee shirt. I am a big girl myself and would never wear something like that. They look so trashy and tacky! What the hell are they thinking when they put those on? And if they must wear it stay indoors that way no one has to see your tacky ass!
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:21 pm (UTC)
Preach it sister! Amen!
jackmike
Aug. 17th, 2001 12:48 pm (UTC)
"Help, help. I'm being oppressed."
joeyhemlock
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:00 pm (UTC)
I think that's legal. He never said anything about quoting Monty Python movies.
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:22 pm (UTC)
Go to Hell. Go straight to Hell. Do not pass the bar, do not collect 200 beers.
joeyhemlock
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:02 pm (UTC)
Are we allowed to place Peeps in the vaginas of others?
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:23 pm (UTC)
Good question. To be safe, I'd keep the Peeps and the vaginas as far away from each other as possible.
huskerdude1
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:10 pm (UTC)
Thank Allah I save my bad B.O. for private time.
I agree with your commandments - it's all right if I quote The Simpsons, though, right?
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:32 pm (UTC)
Yes, of course. As a matter of fact, quoting Simpsons can get you a plenary indulgence. Betcha didn't know that!
suebdoo
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:35 pm (UTC)
XII. Thou shall not have those disgusting panty lines that men so much like. Thou shall just not wear panties at all
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:49 pm (UTC)
Sue, you are obviously a God-Fearing Woman TM. I like the way you think.

And those tan lines, too. Geez, how gross! How about no clothing at all? What do you think?
suebdoo
Aug. 17th, 2001 01:51 pm (UTC)
Clothing is really one of life's little pains in the ass. We have to shop for it, wash it, iron it, (ok some people iron it), then repeat. What the hell, I'm with you, let's outlaw it totally!
starcrossedlady
Aug. 17th, 2001 03:05 pm (UTC)
Hmmmm........
I.... haven't done it in awhile... of course, I'm going to now bore you with all sorts of little aside things I learned about the troupe ;)

II.... not in awhile... not since the last time I attended RHPS (at a after-hours show at a ren faire, btw... which brings us to..)

III.... :::Raising eyebrow::: depends on whatcha doing, and what's happening, dah-link. With all the research my troupe and I do, we should collectively have a Ph.D. in Elizabethan History.

IV... I have two dats. They aren't cats. They act too much like dogs. So there. Pbbbbt.

V.... Um... can I get a eeeew? :::turns green::: They's made for microwaves, not for certain portions of the anatomy (especially the mouth! blargh)

VI... Not even the remake of Ring of Fire by Suicidal Tendancies?

VII... OK, Beanie babies and furbys in the microwave with the peeps!

VIII... Heh. heheheheheheheheheheheheh.

IX.... depends on where the spandex is. underwear, under clothing?

X.... how about those people who drench themselves in musk, or aftershave, or perfume, or stuff that could be only described as stench? Hmmm?

Yeah, I'm a heathen :) Proud of it.
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 04:33 pm (UTC)
Ayyiiiiii! Run! It's SATAN!!!!
Oh wait. You don't like Beanie Babies. Phew. ;-)

Ring of Fire isn't really CW music, it's more like country soul. Maybe we can make an exception for Johnny Cash.

Uggh, excessive cologne or, what I like to call the "Brut Bomb", or even "Old Spice Chemical Warfare" for those who like something more descriptive.

Yes, you're right on that one. Definitely.
hamadryad
Aug. 17th, 2001 03:32 pm (UTC)
Then I'm going to hell.

Thank you.
democritus
Aug. 17th, 2001 04:28 pm (UTC)
I will pray for your soul.
mrknowitall
Aug. 17th, 2001 07:57 pm (UTC)
I just gotta know which commandments Hama's going to hell for. And can we get pictures?
hamadryad
Aug. 18th, 2001 12:02 am (UTC)
I. Thou shalt not quote Monty Python skits.
Not any more, but I used to all the time.
II. Thou shalt not quote Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Did up until I was about 17....still feel irked when people quite it wrong.
III. Thou shalt not attend Renaissance Faires.
Have. Several times. Dressed up every time, too.
IV. Thou shalt not associate with demon-spawn(cats).
One with a fat body and tiny head lives in my yard, and I can't wait until we eventually move so I can get another one.
V. Thou shalt not place Peeps in thy vagina.
Thou shalt not tell me what to do with my own private parts as long as they stay offa' you and your family.
VI. Thou shalt not listen to Country Western music.
Well....okay. But I love listening to my friend do Karaoke to "Friends in Low Places."
VII. Thou shalt not collect Beanie Babies or Furbies.
I have a beanie squid, bat, and crab. Kish mine ash.
VIII. Thou shalt not use AOL.
Okay, okay, I can go with this one.
IX. Thou shalt not wear Spandex if you are a fatty.
Thou shalt not hold me to thine standard of "fat." Besides, I wouldn't wear spandex on a bet. Well, unless I really, really wanted to show off my tits and hips. But I promise I wouldn't wear bright pink, if that helps.
X. Thou shalt not have bad B.O. in public.
All right, I can go with this one....I actively strive to smell good, rather than to merely not smell bad.

So, which one did you want pictures of?
starcrossedlady
Aug. 18th, 2001 01:28 pm (UTC)
Hee!
What garb do you have? :::grinning and fleeing from Mr. Commandment Man:::

;)
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )