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  1. Step One: Drink 12 pack of Sierra Nevada, supplement with shots of Triple Sec if neccessary.
  2. Step Two: Obtain flammable aerosol. I recommend WD-40. In this case I used Tri-Flow bike chain lube. A good alternative is AquaNet.

  3. Step Three: Spray aerosol through flame, aiming towards evil spider.

  4. Step Four: Laugh and howl in glee as Satan's Shadowy Harbinger of Painful Death burns and burns and burns!

  5. Step Five: Make sure house does not burn down and resume drinking.

Comments

( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
withbutterflies
Oct. 26th, 2003 09:38 pm (UTC)
YaY for Demo!
I brought up my friend's page and saw that evil fucking spider and almost dropped my Guiness. I refreshed a moment later and saw this wonderful post of the murder of a spider. All spiders should die such a painful and brutal death. I declare it should be.

democritus
Oct. 26th, 2003 09:45 pm (UTC)
Re: YaY for Demo!
I wholeheartedly agree. Well, unless they're beloved pets. then no one should hurt them. Especially by spraying scrubbing bubbles all over them and washing them up with a sponge. Poor Pierre.
psycat90
Oct. 26th, 2003 09:56 pm (UTC)
I especially like how step 4 is step 3 and step 5 is step four.
democritus
Oct. 26th, 2003 09:59 pm (UTC)
Doh! Fixed!
the_moonshiner
Oct. 26th, 2003 10:04 pm (UTC)
AWESOME.
_eirinn_
Oct. 26th, 2003 10:10 pm (UTC)
Horray for flaming spiders!
goonhead
Oct. 26th, 2003 10:33 pm (UTC)
Demo, you're a real flame-o :)
ruadh1888
Oct. 27th, 2003 03:23 am (UTC)
Even better than the SD column about microwaving cockroaches!
zette
Oct. 27th, 2003 04:40 am (UTC)
Wheeee!
Flaming spiders! Yet another reason LJ rules- I once posted about hating snakes or something (a tongue in cheek post about how they jump up outta the grass and scare me with their evil eyes, so I chase them with the lawnmower and such) and I got it both barrels from all these bleeding heart animal lovers about how all Gods creatures should be left alone and let to live, live, live!

Well, fuck that noise. All spiders (and snakes) should suffer a firey death. It serves as a warning to the rest to get OUT!

Also, I never do this, but "Flaming Spiders" would be a great band name.
democritus
Oct. 27th, 2003 08:10 am (UTC)
heheh, screw the bleeding hearts, KILL KILL KILL!
laserkitty
Oct. 27th, 2003 06:06 am (UTC)
Ya know...suddenly realizing how many spiders we have at our new place and how much we'll probably be drinking.......I hope nobody decides to try burning down our new place....errrrr...killing spiders for us.
snarkbot
Oct. 27th, 2003 06:49 am (UTC)
democritus
Oct. 27th, 2003 08:29 am (UTC)
LOL, that's fantastic!
sueduhnym
Oct. 27th, 2003 07:17 am (UTC)
YAY!
busychild424
Oct. 27th, 2003 07:23 am (UTC)
Good times! Someone had a fun weekend!
sanibelman
Oct. 27th, 2003 10:27 am (UTC)
Of course, if you're looking for a less dangerous spider-killing alternative, just spray the bitch (the poisonous ones are female, after all) with a can of compressed air turned upside-down. Flash-freeze them. I haven't had a chance to try it, but it sounds very satisfying.
democritus
Oct. 27th, 2003 10:35 am (UTC)
Oooh fun! Maybe I should keep some liquid nitrogen around for that purpose!
thinksnow
Oct. 27th, 2003 07:41 pm (UTC)
You realize, you fucking simpleton, that you should spray flamable aerosols away from you house, right?

Impressive, though.
democritus
Oct. 27th, 2003 08:24 pm (UTC)
Except for special situations, like when there are deadly arachnids on the house.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )