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Feb. 24th, 2009

There's this horrible song that has somehow crossed over from the pop country stations to the regular pop stations that I listen to. I guess it's because we are in Sonoma County. Anyway, it's called "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood. To give you some idea of its horribleness, I present to you the chorus:

I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats

Now, I hate this song on a number of levels; for it's twangy pop country sound, its formulaic writing, the way it preys on such a simple emotion to garner admiration and much more, but the worst thing about it is its hypocrisy. One of the lines is:

Right now, she's probably up singing some
White-trash version of Shania karaoke

Now, first of all, any karaoke is white trash(sorry Sherah!) The trashiness is on a scale where the more often you "perform" and more "professional" you are at karaoke, the trashier you are. If someone just walks into a random bar with friends, and they just happen to have karaoke, and the people just happen to be drunk enough or under enough peer pressure that they perform karaoke, then that is not very white trash, but anything beyond that and the trashiness starts accumulating quickly. Anyway, I digress.

The hypocrisy is not due to the subject's trashiness. It's because the singer is implying that she's not white trash when, in fact, she is!

If you vandalize someone's car, you are white trash. edit: unless someone fucking parks behind you in a parking garage!
If you date someone with a "souped-up" 4 wheel drive, you are white trash.
If you frequent bars that have cheap cologne dispensers in the bathrooms, you are white trash. *
Finally, if you sing twangy country songs about cheating significant others, you are white trash.

* song lyric: Right now, he's probably dabbing on 3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 24th, 2009 08:48 pm (UTC)
I feel all classy. While I used to enjoy some karaoke but haven't in some time (trash) I had no idea what "bathroom Polo" was and had to ask Allan. He knew (trash).
Feb. 24th, 2009 10:49 pm (UTC)
I would also like to point out you can do all those things and not be white trash if you're not white. But there are plenty of labels to go around.
Feb. 24th, 2009 11:01 pm (UTC)
I loathe this song. It makes me think he was right to leave her cause she's a fucking lunatic.
Feb. 25th, 2009 01:33 am (UTC)
Yes. This. Exactly. It makes me insane that she is all proud about keying the guy's car. And I feel sorry for the new girlfriend, because for all we know, the guy could be moderately normal and saddled with this lunatic ex, and the new girlfriend is going to have to put up with that nonsense when all she is trying to do is have a good time singing karaoke.
Feb. 24th, 2009 11:40 pm (UTC)
If you vandalize someone's car, you are white trash.

Hey, that reminds me of the time you vandalized that car in the parking garage.
Feb. 24th, 2009 11:45 pm (UTC)
(Deleted comment)
Feb. 25th, 2009 12:08 am (UTC)
In my opinion, even black people can be white trash under certain circumstances.
Feb. 25th, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
I <3 being white trash!*

*but not to songs like this. I like a good 80's/early 90's song list that lets me relive being a kid. Also, in Seattle it's kind of like.. hipstery to do karaoke. LOOK HOW IRONIC IT IS OMG. *grows handlebar mustache*
Feb. 25th, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
PS: while on the topic of shitty pseudo-empowered-female songs, what is your opinion of the shit that is "IRREPLACEABLE" by Beyonce?

You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I'll have another you by tomorrow
So don't you ever for a second get to thinking you're irreplaceable

So since I'm not your everything
How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you
Baby I won't shed a tear for you, I won't lose a wink of sleep
'Cause the truth of the matter is replacing you is so easy

ORLY because if so, Beyonce, you are LAME for settling! LOLZ @ you, you boring egomaniacal liar. "Oh that's ok, you're not that great anyway." Whaaat?
Feb. 25th, 2009 05:25 am (UTC)
The guy who wrote this song is a FOAF, and let me tell you, he is rolling in fucking money. It's hard to go wrong selling trailer-trash bullshit.
Feb. 25th, 2009 08:30 am (UTC)
You hate the same song I have been hating. I just did not know who sang it or what the title was. Thank you for giving me a focus to hate when the song comes on.

I hate being a hater but this song deserves no pity, it is on everywhere and absolutely sucks ass. Kim was playing it after reading your post and I clapped my hands over my ears and said "what the hell are you listening to, I hate this song...?"
Feb. 26th, 2009 05:20 pm (UTC)
One of my students thought she said, "Carved my name into his LEGACY". I think that lyric change only improved the song.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )