Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry


( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:02 am (UTC)
[sarcasm]I'm fucking SURPRISED![/sarcasm]

Join the club, my little Fluffer Nutter. The world is a boring place when you have an IQ above room temperature and no one else around you does.
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:10 am (UTC)
Fine! I make the little kitty dance for you!!!!!

:::holding Marlowe under the front legs, bouncing him along the floor::::

Fun, yes????? ;D
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:13 am (UTC)
If you want, i can come by and stick some starved ferrets down your pants. That should stave off the boredom for a while. ;)
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:16 am (UTC)
It would certainly be better than seeing someone manipulate a cat to make it look like it's dancing. ::puke::
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:18 am (UTC)
Me too....
I will do the German Dance for you,

It's fun and Gay and Hard to do,

I hope you will enjoy my dance,

It is real fun and realy gaaaay!
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:24 am (UTC)
Her's a joke for you,
but you might have heard it before though.

So you think life is bad....
Just think how bad the life of an egg is....
You only get laid once
You only get eaten once
It takes 4 minutes to get hard
And 2 minutes to get soft
You have to share a box with 11 other guys
And the only chick that ever sat on your face was.....your mother

Dec. 28th, 2001 10:28 am (UTC)

That's a good one!

Demo, why don't cannibals eat clowns?

They taste funny!

Dec. 28th, 2001 10:32 am (UTC)
Here you have one more,

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a handsaw.
He sees another man on the 1st floor. He yells down to him,
but he can't hear, so he does a sign language.
To do sign language, the man on the 3rd flor points at his eye meaning "I",
points at his knee meaning "need", and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.
The man on the 1st floor nods his head, pulls down his pants and starts masturbating.
The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says,
"What the heck is wrong with you, dumbass? I said I need a handsaw!".
The other man says, "I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I'm coming."

Dec. 28th, 2001 10:51 am (UTC)
Damn, girl, you are on FIRE. That's a gooder, too!

Vince, you can't be bored now. Not with Anniz doing stand-up comedy!

Dec. 28th, 2001 11:11 am (UTC)
Wooo! You guys are r0x0r! Funny jokes and gay dances! Thanks!
Dec. 28th, 2001 10:52 am (UTC)
Okay, okay, here's an old favorite that you've prolly heard before, but deal.

There's a guy that's relatively happy with his life, but he's a bit overweight. One day, on his way home, he sees a sign that says, "lose weight now! Guaranteed or your money back!" He figures he's got nothing left to lose, so he calls up and enrolls in their one-day, 10-pound program. The next day, there's a knock on his door and standing there is a gorgeous petite blonde, wearing only a pair of running shoes and a sign saying, "if you can catch me, you can fuck me." She winks at him and takes off. He takes off after her, and by day's end not only has he lost the guaranteed 10 pounds, but gets a nice reward in the process.

A week later, he thinks that was great and would love a repeat performance, so he calls and enrolls in the 3-day, 30-pound program. The next day, standing at his door is a tall, lean, well-built brunette wearing running shoes and a sign saying, "if you can catch me, you can fuck me." This one's a bit faster, so it takes him a couple of days, but at the end of the third day he's lost another 30 pounds.

Finally, he decides he's just gonna go all out and meet his goal with flying colors, so he calls and orders the 5-day, 50-pound package. The woman on the phone says, "are you sure? It's our most intensive program," but he's absolutely certain and relentless. The next day, he finds at his door a cut, 6'5" perfect specimen of a man, wearing running shoes and a sign saying, "if i can catch you, i can fuck you."
Dec. 28th, 2001 11:08 am (UTC)
The next day, he finds at his door a cut, 6'5" perfect specimen of a man, wearing running shoes and a sign saying, "if i can catch you, i can fuck you."

That wouldn't work for Vince, he'd only run to the nearest bed. :P

But then I'm not one to talk. *innocent smile*
Dec. 28th, 2001 11:17 am (UTC)
Before I read your comment I was thinking to myself, "Hmmm, he must not have lost any weight that day..."

Dec. 28th, 2001 10:58 am (UTC)
What did the fish say when he crashed into the cement wall?


Yeah, I won't quit my day job.
Dec. 28th, 2001 01:17 pm (UTC)
I am going to tell that joke to my friend Cindy tonight. I guarentee she'll laugh herself sick. That's why I love her!
( 15 comments — Leave a comment )