Last night I dreamed that I had recurring dreams (talk about recursion) about a woman. The time period was around the 1920s, I would guess (though the sleeping mind cares little about anachronism). She was a beautiful(natch), petite blond, with bobbed, curly hair and a sharp dress-suit with a hat. I kept having 12 Monkeys-style flashback dreams of her. She was traveling up 101 (Old Redwood Highway, I suppose, if I wanted to rationalize it.) and then stopped at a bustling resort somewhere in Sonoma County, right off the freeway. The resort was a huge personal estate that had been converted into a retreat. The rooms were on a few levels and surrounded a huge ballroom/bar area with a piano player playing ragtime music. It had that Roaring 20's/Smooth Criminal video style. I couldn't really tell what the woman was doing but I eventually figured out that she was a grifter. She was amazing! Her game was really powerful and she always took her mark. But even when she had her most convincing smile on, there was a sad acquiescence in her eyes. That sadness was what endeared me to her the most, I think. The last dream ended with her realizing the emptiness in her life was not worth pursuing and letting her mask drop in front of a mark, who stabbed her in the chest.

That was all in the dreaming portion of my dream. When I eventually woke up (which seemed like I really woke up) I had a weekend off to myself so I took a drive north up 101. Somewhere around Healdsburg or Cloverdale I saw the broken down remains of the resort! I pulled off the road and started exploring the ruins, somehow knowing I would find some trace of the woman. I felt like I had such an intimate bond with her, that our connection would lead me to her. Not surprisingly, her spectral image appeared to me with the same vibrant smile but with no sadness in the eyes, like before. For a minute I thought that I could somehow help her but she started telling me about how she needed some money for something or other and I realized she had lost her soul and was condemned to grift for eternity. When I realized there was no redemption for her and that the connection I felt was shattered I dropped to my knees and wept. I woke up feeling bitter and broken.


I thought it was pretty interesting to dream about dreaming. I don't recall ever doing that before. What I find really intriguing, though, is the intense emotions I often feel in dreams. I rarely feel emotions that powerful in real life. In fact, sometimes I feel like I am numb, because I don't feel powerful emotions that often. It makes me wonder if the human brain has a physical or psychological need to experience those strong emotions. I know people often create drama in their real lives for seemingly no reason, perhaps that is related to why we (or at least I) often experience powerful emotions in dreams. Maybe drama whores don't sleep well.