That was all in the dreaming portion of my dream. When I eventually woke up (which seemed like I really woke up) I had a weekend off to myself so I took a drive north up 101. Somewhere around Healdsburg or Cloverdale I saw the broken down remains of the resort! I pulled off the road and started exploring the ruins, somehow knowing I would find some trace of the woman. I felt like I had such an intimate bond with her, that our connection would lead me to her. Not surprisingly, her spectral image appeared to me with the same vibrant smile but with no sadness in the eyes, like before. For a minute I thought that I could somehow help her but she started telling me about how she needed some money for something or other and I realized she had lost her soul and was condemned to grift for eternity. When I realized there was no redemption for her and that the connection I felt was shattered I dropped to my knees and wept. I woke up feeling bitter and broken.
I thought it was pretty interesting to dream about dreaming. I don't recall ever doing that before. What I find really intriguing, though, is the intense emotions I often feel in dreams. I rarely feel emotions that powerful in real life. In fact, sometimes I feel like I am numb, because I don't feel powerful emotions that often. It makes me wonder if the human brain has a physical or psychological need to experience those strong emotions. I know people often create drama in their real lives for seemingly no reason, perhaps that is related to why we (or at least I) often experience powerful emotions in dreams. Maybe drama whores don't sleep well.
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I am reading Darkly Dreaming Dexter and there was a paragraph in there that totally stood out (and I swear I am getting up to go get the book just so I can type it out for you....)
okay so Dexter is pondering whether he is losing his mind or not and comes to the conclusion he hasn't been doing anything weirder than normal lately "Except in my sleep, of course- and did that really count? Weren't we all crazy in our sleep? What was sleep, after all, but the process by which we dumped our insanity into a dark subconscious pit and came out on the other side ready to eat cereal instead of our neighbors children?
I honestly think we have a lot of unconscious therapy going on while we sleep which could maybe help account for some of the intensity emotions and even weirder things.
I'll buy into that!