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I am the strongest man in the world. I did a hill climb today for my Drew-Daddy. More like a mountain climb. I rode Crane Canyon Hill, which I like to call "My Bitch". I like this ride because it's a great climb surrounded by about 5 miles on each side for warm up/cool down. The whole ride is 17.5 miles and I usually do it in a little over an hour. In the past, I have always approached it from the backside (like I do my women), because it is a much gentler slope. The easy side is about five miles and the steep side is about three miles...straight up. I was standing for most of it. Pedal by pedal, breath by breath, curse by curse I wound my way up the mountian. My mantra: "I hate you, mountain. I hate your stinky, mountainy guts. I will not stop. I will not give up. I will DIE before I get off this bike and walk. (Please god kill me now and end the suffering) I WILL NOT STOP!" Right before I reached the peak, a swarm of flies attacked my head. I started flinging my arm all over, swatting them away and cursing through my panting. It was like the mountain's final, miserable death throes, trying to take me down with it. But, I let out a mighty roar, stood up in the saddle and sprinted the final 500 feet to the summit. Yes, I was victorious. At that moment, I knew how Sir Edmund Hillary must have felt, looking down on all of creation from the top of the world. The top that he 0WNXX0RED!

Today, I am man.

Follow me.


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 4th, 2003 09:38 am (UTC)
haha awesome. *pats the man

i like the "i hate you, mountain" mantra too. i usually add "fucking" to it tho. ;)
Jul. 4th, 2003 09:42 am (UTC)
Oh there were plenty of the most god-awful, ear burning curses along the whole climb. ;-)
Jul. 4th, 2003 09:45 am (UTC)
what do you ride? i want a new full suspension but i'm totally poor.
Jul. 4th, 2003 10:07 am (UTC)
Well, my road bike is a '94 Fuji Team (what I was riding today). My mountain bike is an old Peugeot Chatteau Thierry with no suspension that I got for 100 bucks a million years ago. It was way cracked out until I finally put some work into it a couple years ago and now I love it. I'm not real big on suspension although a lot of people swear by it.
Jul. 4th, 2003 09:30 pm (UTC)
ooh.. road biking. thought you were mountain biking :)

i have a standard front suspension diamondback sorrento. i'm a small girl and it rattles so much going downhill that i get thrown out of my seat alot. haha. need. full. suspension.
Jul. 4th, 2003 09:55 am (UTC)
Way to make my mile-and-a-quarter in a downpour look like a Sunday stroll in the park.
Jul. 4th, 2003 10:11 am (UTC)
Heheh. Hey, as long as you're out there riding/running/doing SOMETHING. I get the same thing from Liam(zyzzyva) all the time. I'll be like, "OMG I just got back from a 60 mile ride!" and he'll casually say, "Yeah, I just did an easy 100 miles without sweating." ;-) It's all about getting out there. Each of us has our own personal challenges and they're all worthy as long as we're willing to face them.

God, I sound like a Nike comercial. :p
Jul. 4th, 2003 10:09 am (UTC)
Well, good for you. Today I OWNXXXORED "I Love The 80s" on VH-1. So we're both pretty accomplished.

Jul. 4th, 2003 10:12 am (UTC)
How was the concert?
Jul. 4th, 2003 10:39 am (UTC)
Wow. The only thing I accomplished today was getting out of bed. I'm amazed. I bow down before you. With my front-side before you...that whole approached it from the backside (like I do my women) scared me a bit. ;O)
Jul. 4th, 2003 10:54 am (UTC)
You are a brave, brave, man to attempt all that without even a sherpa to point the way and carry your things (beers).

The mountain is your bitch! You are fabulouxxxors.

Jul. 4th, 2003 10:57 am (UTC)
They have computers in South Dakota?
Jul. 4th, 2003 10:58 am (UTC)
No, I built this one out of pieces of Mount Rushmore.
Jul. 4th, 2003 11:04 am (UTC)
What kind of Sierra did you get?
Jul. 4th, 2003 12:06 pm (UTC)
Pale Ale. It's what John and I drank at DTF the entire weekend. I forgot how good it was.
Jul. 4th, 2003 01:41 pm (UTC)
That's what I'm drinking right now. It's even better than Newcastle, isn't it? ISN'T IT!?
Jul. 4th, 2003 02:35 pm (UTC)

(No, it's not.)
Jul. 4th, 2003 11:04 am (UTC)
youre funny shit. the only problem with those flies is that the fuckers wait for you on the way down...well, if you go the same way down. "close mouth....close mouth". i hate that crap. there's this nasty little climb in Los Gatos like that that i liked to do. i swear the bugs remembered me every time. there's this one little part for about 200 yards where the gradient hits about 19%, and they ALWAYS hung out right there. bitches...
Jul. 4th, 2003 11:11 am (UTC)
Oh man, I know. I hate those little fuckers. Luckily, on this ride it's a big circle, so I only have to pass them once, although I do have to pass a big manure heap that I can smell for a half mile, gag.
Jul. 4th, 2003 06:08 pm (UTC)
That's beautiful man.
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )