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This is weird. Whenever I hike up a big mountain or something I am always afraid that I will jump off a cliff or steep precipice. Not because I am suicidal or anything, I just always feel like jumping off to see what will happen, like I will fly or something. I know I can't, and that I would die, so I don't jump. But I am always afraid that in a moment when I'm tired or thinking about something else the attraction will just grab me and I'll jump off. I would think that it comes from playing too much WoW, but I have always felt that way. When I was a kid I fell off the roof of a two story apartment complex and I landed on my feet with no injuries. Ever since then I have had strange dreams, like this recurring dream where I am swimming in a river that curves around the top of a mountain peak(WTF?) and the current is so strong it whips me out of the river and off the side of the mountain and I fall fall fall until I land on my feet gently(considering the fall) and am unharmed. I also hvae dreams and daydreams where I jump off the top of tall buildings and mountains and stuff and land easily on the ground. I mean, wouldn't it be awesome if you could jump off of here and just kind of float to the bottom?

edit: Whoa, I guess I'm not the only one. Yay!


( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Nov. 2nd, 2006 12:17 am (UTC)
I am skeered of heights. Or, I should say, I am skeered of being too close to the edge of things that are very high. But I have very vivid, persuasive imaginings of being able to step of the edge of things and survive. It usually comes in the form of going "SPLAT!" and then getting up and walking away like nothing happened in mine, though.

You are freaking me out. First you share my tooth-breaking dreams, and now this?
Nov. 2nd, 2006 12:56 am (UTC)
OH yeah. I am always looking over the edge afraid that I will jump. I know I won't really, but some small small part of me wants to try it out, just to see what happens.

I love getting to the very edge, too. That thrill is amazing. I think I would like to try parasailing, or hang gliding, or jumping out of an airplane.

Nov. 2nd, 2006 01:16 am (UTC)
Oh I've always loved heights and leaning as far out from them as I can. This cathedral http://www.catedralbcn.org/ has a roof walk you can take and some optional little paths that are amazing.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 01:17 am (UTC)
that was me by the way
Nov. 2nd, 2006 02:10 am (UTC)
Wow, I bet that's awesome.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 01:38 am (UTC)
Whenever I hike up a big mountain or something I am always afraid that I will jump off a cliff or steep precipice. Not because I am suicidal or anything, I just always feel like jumping off to see what will happen

I do the exact same thing.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 02:40 am (UTC)
Yeah, I have such thoughts as well.

Deep down I maintain my childish presumption that I am immortal and invincible. This is helped along by the fact that I've never suffered a serious injury and rarely experience illness.

Unbreakable, the Bruce Willis/Shyamalan movie, struck a chord with me featuring a guy who is subtly invincible and doesn't realize it until he's in his 40s.

If I ever suicide, it will definitely be by falling just because I've always wanted to no what that last microsecond would feel like. Similarly, in high school I got odd reactions by saying if I had to die, then being swarmed and consumed by army ants would be a good way to go (we were reading Leningen Versus the Ants) just because it would be a completely unique experience.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 01:57 pm (UTC)
No, you're not the only one. For a long time I thought I was afraid of heights, but then I realized I'm afraid of what I might do when I'm up high.
I don't fly in my dreams; I bounce.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
I've had similar thoughts, too. I've always said that if I ever did decide to committ suicide I'd probably be a jumper, just for that final experience on the way down and on impact.

Another one that is similar is that, while driving, I'll occasionally have a wild urge to just twist the steering and leave the highway at high speed, run full speed into a wall, off a mountain, etc. Of course I don't, but I get the urge every now and then.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 10:17 pm (UTC)
Oh man I totally get that same urge while driving sometimes! What a strange phenomenon, they must be related.
Nov. 2nd, 2006 10:40 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, I'm reading a book on phobias right now (cause I have one I am trying to work on) and what you are describing is very common in people that fear heights- they are not necessarily afraid of falling down, but that they'll jump off.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )